Hey all! Welcome back to my cashback rewards-plus gamescript! It's your buddy Spyro here to talk about only the most important gayming issues. Now, if ur not an ohtalku konichi-san like I am, you may not have heard of about a little start up called Nintando. Nintando is an Asian company based out of Japan, China. Famous for such gaymes as Climb Ice and Solid Snake, Nintando has been notoriously kept under wraps by Game Freak, who have a cruel reptilian grasp on the industry. Luckily, Nintando recently escaped to Egypt where they have been able to publish their latest gaym Supper Brothers: Live Dead or Brawl Alive.
Now, I don't know about you, but I've been a Supper Brothers fan since the first game, Luigi's Island 64. In this game you can play as 8 of your favorite Nintando Characters: Mario, Scar Fox, Birdo-Fox, Dr. Mario, Metrod, Master Cheif, Paper Mario, and Mayushii-des. Since then Nintando has added several more amazing characters, such as Lank, Mars Rover: Curiosity, and Landmaster. Lank is my favorite character, and since Game 2 he's had a twin-character, Yami-Lank. Since Yami-Lank is older than normal Lank, I've decided to call this episode <deep>A Time through Lank</deep>. Fufufu, see how clever I can be?
Lank has several special moves that are the best. Spin-Twist, his upwards strike, gives him the ability to actually fly. Stuff-Chuck, his sidewards strike, lets him throw a shoe at his enemies. Lastly, Holy-Jihad, his downwards strike, gives him a suicide bomb for biblical levels of justice. But that's not it, Lank has several other cool moves as well! Try out his hook-grab for massive damage!
INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS
In Supper Brothers, you can leave the stage to knock your opponent even further. This technique, also know as "Faggot Dashing", can be very useful against characters with weak recoveries like Landmaster. Be careful through, as on some stages like Kirby's Fountain and Pokefloats, you can fall off the bottom!
INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS -- INSIDER TIPS
If you can keep a secret, I'll tell you about a tough time in my life. See, after iCarly broke up with me, I went on a binge of eating Velveta and watching Gilmore Girls. <deep>I was so sad that I hardly even had the motivation to masturbate with my unicycle anymore</deep>. Nothing could make me happy; nothing, that is, until I found my old copy of Supper Brothers beneath my jizz sock. Finding it was like finding an old friend. I carried it with me at all times and even slept with it. Finding Supper Brothers made me happy also. I played it for hours and hours until I finally beat the main quest: The Slipspace Correlary. By the time I had, my depression was completely gone! Super-Cool!
I'm very excited for Supper Brothers and I think you should be too. Whether you like items on Very High or just High, there's a game mode for everyone. Supper Brothers releases on December 1st, just in time for Thanksgiving, so go to your local Sony Distributor and preorder today. I'll see you online, scrubs!
Signing Off
-Cash Fired
Monday, September 29, 2014
Friday, August 1, 2014
Welcome to my Realtime Blogger Pagescript MMORPG
Yoooo, it's Sputnik, and welcome to my channel! Since I currently work as a game designer at Best Buy, a lot of my posts are going to have to do with video gaymes, why I am a brilliant designer, and defending the Wii U as a legitimate console. Also keep an eye out for the <deep> tags, so you know when to tear up, get outraged, or remove your clothing.
Today I'm going to talk about an issue that is close to my heart and several other organs that the doctors say are failing. I'll be talking about how vidya games <deep>helped me overcome my troubled childhood</deep>. You, see, when I was just a child, I was bullied because I don't really have a butt. Every day at recess they would call me "No-Butts McGee" and no one ever traded their Yu-gi-oh cards with me. One day however, during my usual garbage rummaging, I found an old PSP color with the cartridge still in it. That's when I was introduced to Metrod for the fist time, and I was immediately hooked. You see, Metrod was just like me: I had a speech impediment and Metrod never talked; I had no butt, and Metrod was a robot so he had no butt; my internal dialogue sucked ass, and so did his. Me and Metrod were an unstoppable team, and let me tell you, we stomped those Goombas all the way back to Green Hill Zone.
For the rest of the year I was inspired to be just like Metrod. I wore a paper towel roll on my arm and a Doritos bag on my head, so that I looked just like him. Every day I went around shouting "Pew Pew! Take that The Covenant!" while making questionable advances on a life-sized cardboard cutout of iCarly that I carried around. And wouldn't you know, people started thinking I was cool! They invited me to their piss drinking contests and were always willing to share their raw eggs with my face. Sure, I may have broken my legs one or two or 17 times trying to use my super boosters to fly back to Pikmin, and sure iCarly may have broken up with me, but all-in-all they were the best years of my life.
That is, until <deep>the bullying started</deep>. You see, when I went to summer school for flunking out of my junior high gym classes, there was this jerk named Correy. Correy used to always make fun of me and ruin my good times. He would say things like "Metrod is a girl she just uses magic to be a guy" and "I bet you can't even speedrun the wavedash!" He thought he knew my Metrod better than I did. Once he even told the teachers on me because I had spent overnight in the trash bin "pretending" to be in ball mode. To make things worse I'm 95% sure he hacked my runescape account and stole my rune pick.
Finally Junior High ended last year. Correy went on to High School, but I didn't because I'm so smart I'm already finished with school. I'm looking to get back together with iCarly, and maybe even go for a civil union. Every morning I rub orange juice all over my body to try and color myself like my hero, and I hear there's even a Metrod Happy Meal toy coming out soon, so that's exciting. I was unfortunately unable to get a restraining order against Correy, because apparently "imaginary friends" are not valid legal parties, but I don't see him much anyway, though I do still occasionally hear his whispers from the dark abyss demanding human sacrifice.
Tomorrow I'm up for a job interview at Subway; I'm going to show them how good a Sandwich Technician I can be. I'll let you guys know!
Signing off,
Sh000ts fyrd
Today I'm going to talk about an issue that is close to my heart and several other organs that the doctors say are failing. I'll be talking about how vidya games <deep>helped me overcome my troubled childhood</deep>. You, see, when I was just a child, I was bullied because I don't really have a butt. Every day at recess they would call me "No-Butts McGee" and no one ever traded their Yu-gi-oh cards with me. One day however, during my usual garbage rummaging, I found an old PSP color with the cartridge still in it. That's when I was introduced to Metrod for the fist time, and I was immediately hooked. You see, Metrod was just like me: I had a speech impediment and Metrod never talked; I had no butt, and Metrod was a robot so he had no butt; my internal dialogue sucked ass, and so did his. Me and Metrod were an unstoppable team, and let me tell you, we stomped those Goombas all the way back to Green Hill Zone.
For the rest of the year I was inspired to be just like Metrod. I wore a paper towel roll on my arm and a Doritos bag on my head, so that I looked just like him. Every day I went around shouting "Pew Pew! Take that The Covenant!" while making questionable advances on a life-sized cardboard cutout of iCarly that I carried around. And wouldn't you know, people started thinking I was cool! They invited me to their piss drinking contests and were always willing to share their raw eggs with my face. Sure, I may have broken my legs one or two or 17 times trying to use my super boosters to fly back to Pikmin, and sure iCarly may have broken up with me, but all-in-all they were the best years of my life.
That is, until <deep>the bullying started</deep>. You see, when I went to summer school for flunking out of my junior high gym classes, there was this jerk named Correy. Correy used to always make fun of me and ruin my good times. He would say things like "Metrod is a girl she just uses magic to be a guy" and "I bet you can't even speedrun the wavedash!" He thought he knew my Metrod better than I did. Once he even told the teachers on me because I had spent overnight in the trash bin "pretending" to be in ball mode. To make things worse I'm 95% sure he hacked my runescape account and stole my rune pick.
Finally Junior High ended last year. Correy went on to High School, but I didn't because I'm so smart I'm already finished with school. I'm looking to get back together with iCarly, and maybe even go for a civil union. Every morning I rub orange juice all over my body to try and color myself like my hero, and I hear there's even a Metrod Happy Meal toy coming out soon, so that's exciting. I was unfortunately unable to get a restraining order against Correy, because apparently "imaginary friends" are not valid legal parties, but I don't see him much anyway, though I do still occasionally hear his whispers from the dark abyss demanding human sacrifice.
Tomorrow I'm up for a job interview at Subway; I'm going to show them how good a Sandwich Technician I can be. I'll let you guys know!
Signing off,
Sh000ts fyrd
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